Lately

I’ve been asking myself lately “what do I love to do? What are my hobbies? What am I even good at?” For years my life was consumed by either studying, clinicals, therapy, etc…During that time I lost touch with my passions and hobbies, leaving me feeling depressed and on my free days, when I had the whole world in front of me, I would get anxious at the thought of not knowing what to do and would end up staying in the house. I’d maybe run a few useless errands. For the past few months, since starting a full time nursing job, I have found that on my days off and in my free time I still have no idea what to do with myself, unless I have some pressing errand I need to run (typically it’s to the local CVS or Heinens, just because I love grocery stores). My routine when I am not at work is pretty simple and lackluster to be honest. I wake up very early even on my days off, probably because this was so routine for me in college that I made it a habit. I love being the first one up and out of the house in the morning, however lack of sleep and 12 hour work shifts have been catching up to me lately. The morning is actually my favorite time of day. I prepare a sometimes extravagant and intricate breakfast because 1) I have the time and 2) I love breakfast foods. I get a lot of recipes from blogs that I follow and I love trying new things. This was my latest go at pancakes. The recipe will be under a separate tab. Check out this recipe and many more at http://meowbakelift.tumblr.com/ Instagram @megameows (One of my favorite blogs).photo (12)

I enjoy taking time to prepare my meals. I love cooking, baking, chopping veggies, you name it. I also love new recipes and throwing ingredients together to make something new and delicious. I meal prep a lot. It is a way for me to stay organized and to ensure that I am eating healthy meals even when I am on the run or at work.

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What is a small salad?
What is a small salad?

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So mornings are usually glorious (again only on my days off, when I’m not shoving food in my face as I drive down 90 W to get to work). I always watch TV while eating breakfast (and sometimes lunch too). I know, I know, everything I learned about mindfulness is ignored during this process but hey I enjoy my morning television. Nothing like a little bit of George Feeney to start my day. This is my time to wake up and relax. After breakfast I head to the gym. While in college and during NCLEX prep I always went to the gym first thing in the morning before eating. That was when 4:50 AM was my alarm setting at least 6/7 days during the week. Now, I sleep a few more hours. As in I usually roll out of bed by around 7:30 or 8. By that time I’d rather eat first then go to the gym. The gym is one of my happy places, but I must say my workouts are rather lame. I thoroughly enjoy lifting weights and I actually hate cardio. My goal is strength and muscle. I have yet to put my best foot forward when it comes to making gains. The reason for this is essentially my stubborn attitude when it comes to actual weight gain and proper (enough) nutritional intake. The irrational fears I hold have been hindering me for years. But rather than let my past haunt me I have to move forward every single day and keep my goals in mind, short term and long term.

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Another one of my happy places is on my yoga mat. I’d love to say that I am a yogi and I go to class a multiple times a week, but unfortunately that is not the case. I wish I could buy monthly passes all year long but yoga classes are expensive. Luckily there are millions of yoga videos on YouTube. Lately I have doing solo yoga practice, either along with a video or free-style. I have found that I actually prefer this over an organized class. I can do yoga at home in my own time, without the anxiety of feeling like I’ll embarrass myself because my downward dog looks like that of an 80 year old woman. I’m just kidding. The goal of yoga is not perfection. It is not meant to be an opportunity to judge oneself. It helps me to be in the moment and is one of my favorite forms of mindfulness. Even just a 5 minute flow is very self-soothing. We all deserve to do what makes our bodies feel good and our minds feel at ease. That is what yoga is for me.

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Recently I decided it was time for me to find some hobbies. I’ve always loved art and creating things but drawing and painting never suited me. I even tried ceramics in high school. Let’s just say I basically got an “A for effort”; the green ribbon for “nice try”. So I thought, “What about making jewelry”? I love jewelry in all forms, mostly earrings and bracelets. I am really into bohemian/hippie style earrings and arm candy in any form is just delicious. This is my first piece of jewelry. I am going to take a few classes to get some tips because the art is actually very difficult. I haven’t felt very inspired lately so I don’t have any creations in mind quite yet. I’m waiting for the weather to improve so I can venture through the metroparks, one of my favorite places for inspiration and relaxation.

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Anyway, I knew this would be a long post seeing as how I haven’t written in a long time. My intention is to continue writing and improving this blog. Clearly I need a lot of help and direction and the technology I have isn’t that great. (stone age iphone 4-no shame). Honestly though I am just happy to be writing. Regardless of whether or not people actually choose to read, I am doing two of the things I love most-writing and expressing myself.

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